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"At best, all I can hope for is akin to a bug smashed onto the windshield of your consciousness, soon to be wiped away at the next service station down the road..."
So began the first issue of my first fanzine, released on occasion of my 25th birthday. The main article was a gushing tribute to one of my all-time favorite bands, Girl Trouble, who produced my absolute all-time favorite fanzine, Wig Out! And, shamelessly ripping off said zine's "Seven Wonders of Tacoma" (their hometown), I unveiled the "Seven Wonders" of Kent, Washington (my hometown). Such "wonders" included Cave Man, the Green River Killer, and the Cake Box, a bakery known for making life-sized cakes of such icons as King Kong and Colonel Sanders. Not only was every copy hand-bound with a strand of a KISS cassette tape, but in the spirit of Cracker Jacks, each one contained a free "Toy Surprise," the Kurt Cobain postage stamp. Sold out.
The "All-Evel Extravaganza" was issued on September 8, 1994, to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Evel Knievel's Snake River fiasco. The main Snake River article, "The Event of the Century," was reprinted in The Book of Zines (Owl/Henry Holt, 1997). Besides the oft-imitated "Field Guide to Evel Knievel's Injuries," other articles covered Evel Knievel history and Evel Knievel merchandise, and personal recollections of myself as a pre-teen fan, Stevel Knievel. For the Toy Surprise, I chopped an American flag into 500 little swatches and stapled one inside each copy, each bound with a piece from the Iggy and the Stooges tape Raw Power. Sold out.
Continuing with the Knievel theme, this issue ran Evel's astrological chart and a nonsensical Wheelie FAQ. A review of Evel's 1974 record album and some other Evel-related tunes began what became "Knievel Rock," my ongoing documentation of the Evel Knievel Discography. Also included: a review of a Rolling Stones concert and an in-depth look at the wacko Christian comics of Jack Chick. An actual Chick mini-comic was the Toy Surprise of this issue, bound with the Stones' Their Satanic Majesties Request. Contact me for ordering information.
I was running low on ideas for this issue, so for the first and only time I ran some outside submissions, with mixed results. The best was a killer Evel Knievel comic by John Porcellino of King-Cat Comics. Otherwise, it had some Evel news updates and Evel Knievel Discography updates, and a silly segment of Ask Dr. Heinous. Tape from the debut Ramones album provided the binding; a sticker with "Heinous" aping the Hot Wheels logo was the Toy Surprise. Contact me for ordering information.
This was my favorite issue, from the cover goofing on Topps' 1977 baseball card design to the in-depth examination of the Human Fly, from histories of Debbie Lawler and the Seattle Pilots to "Bob Newhart: Superstar." Of course, there was the usual Evel news and still more Evel Knievel Discography updates. No Toy Surprise this time, but each copy was bound with NWA's Straight Outta Compton. This was also my last issue. Contact me for ordering information.
The idea was to contribute an article about the Seattle monorail to Dan Howland's Journal of Ride Theory, but the more I worked on it, the more it turned into a one-shot Heinous spinoff (actually released between Heinous issues 4 and 5). Still, Dan provided an introduction and some artwork, and I wrote several monorail articles named after train-related rock 'n' songs: "Mystery Train," "All Down the Line," "Train Kept A-Rollin'," and "Train in Vain,"concerning various monorail mishaps. Not being an actual issue of Heinous, it was bound with mere staples, and contained no Toy Surprise. However, since its publication, Seattle has voted to build a citywide monorail system... Conicidence? Contact me for ordering information.
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